“In every corner of the country — California, Massachusetts, Florida — spousal support is in the news. These last two weeks have been a crash course in what we talk about when we talk about alimony.

The legal theory here is that spousal support should not be tied entirely to “need.” The ex is entitled, the thinking goes, to money for time served and investments (emotional, financial) made.  It is a serious issue of who deserves alimony/spousal support, what for, and for how long. Most states have already answered these questions. In Texas, alimony lasts for three years in a marriage that’s ten years or longer; in New York, alimony is intended to help the lower earner become self-sufficient ASAP, though exceptions are made when large fortunes are involved. In Rhode Island, alimony is rare; even victims of domestic violence are not automatically entitled. In most other states, alimony, when there is any, usually has a time limit determined by the couple, amicably, or by a judge, less amicably.

By contrast, under the long-standing Massachusetts law there is no way for a judge to set a time limit on alimony. As a result, the state has become littered with men (97 percent of payers are men) paying lifetime alimony to women who are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, and who may be highly educated, highly skilled, who may have worked throughout their marriages for high wages, and may be working still. There are cases of women who, after dividing millions in marital assets, are making $100K-plus in their jobs and receiving lifetime alimony from an ex who makes $150K plus. The payments don’t end at retirement, only at the recipient’s remarriage or death. And few remarry because the money supply will end. And there are cases of men in their 70s and 80s — some in nursing homes with dementia — paying alimony from Social Security checks while their “new wives” of many decades must chose between paying the alimony and buying prescription drugs.

Down south, in the retirement capital of the country, the news is grim. A grassroots organization, Florida Alimony Reform, just released a chilling report, “The Shame of Florida: Alimony Horror Stories from the Sunshine State,”, detailing 33 stories of financial and emotional abuse created by current laws, which have much in common with the Massachusetts laws just voted out.

Far from painting Florida as a dreamy retirement spot, the message seems to be: If you’re male, stay as far from this place as you can, lest you too become a victim of alimony payments without end and of courts where gender bias runs deeper than common sense and simple justice. Divorce is a no-fault proposition – but alimony is often forever, even when the recipient works, cohabits with another partner for years, and starts collecting in her 30s.

As in Massachusetts, men in their 70s, living on Social Security, are paying lifetime alimony to women who received more than half the marital assets and have pensions and Social Security of their own. Men in their 40s and 50s are told by judges that their combined alimony and child support payments will “impoverish” them, but the judgments are ordered–and impoverishment follows–despite a recent amendment that prohibits impoverishing an alimony payer.

The gender bias is so extreme and so obvious that some lawyers market themselves as only serving one sex or the other. Orlando attorney Jeffrey Feulner runs the firm he calls Men’s Divorce. He chose to limit his practice because “I saw the need for someone to champion the cause of husbands and fathers,” he explains. “There’s the appearance of bias in how men have been treated in court cases.” He points out the benefits of not involving the state in a committed relationship, while noting that the Florida legislature recently amended alimony laws in several positive ways for his client base. He hopes Florida legislators will continue to fine tune the statute and “add some things that are now part of Massachusetts law.”

Judges can now limit alimony if they chose–though they can still award permanent alimony for short-or medium-length marriages. And new law prohibits, at least on paper, an alimony recipient from having more money than an alimony payer–something that common sense or simple justice did not take care of in the past. But no one with judgments entered before these changes has the right to correct the abuses inflicted on them.

Welfare recipients are given several years to get on their feet, but the same is rarely expected ever of able-bodied, educated ex-spouses in Florida. The Sunshine State needs to follow Massachusetts into the 21st century, pronto. In the meantime, slather on the sunscreen– and stay out of those shark-infested waters.”

– By Elizabeth Benedict — Read Full Article

Contact Orlando Lawyer Jeffrey Feulner, featured in this article, and the Men’s Divorce Law Firm today.

According to the Marist Poll, 56% of Americans did not even make a New Year’s resolution this year and only 60% of the population think that they honored last year’s resolutions.

Where does this tradition come from? Historians point to ancient Rome as the origin of this practice. Romans worshiped Janus, the god of new beginnings, doorways and gates. According to Encyclopedia Britannica, Janus was said to have two heads. One head could look to the past and the other to the future, a gift from the god Saturn. Romans made Janus the head of their calendar, what we now know as January. It was a custom for Romans to look at the past year and reflect on what they did wrong and think about what they could do better in the new year.

Fortunately, All Pro Dad recently published an article outlining ways to help men stop fighting with their wives about money. The following is an excerpt from the article:

Finances are consistently fingered as the # 1 cause of friction in married relationships. We all know that, right? But here’s the kicker. Problems aren’t caused by lack of money so much as lack of respectful communication about money.

It’s a fact that couples with fat savings accounts still fight about money. At the same time, many people on the poverty line manage to struggle through without the stress ruining their marriage. The key factors are communication and respect.

You have the opportunity to be a leader in your home in terms of love. Love means communication, and love means respect. And love is the only appropriate context to initiate a conversation about finances.

It’s not easy to avoid fighting about money. But learning how to communicate with love and respect may well save your home, your future and your relationship. Try these 10 ideas to get started.

1. Get on the same page: Develop a family “vision”, “plan”, or “mission statement.” If you know where you’re going, then you’re more likely to agree.
2. Make decisions together, not unilaterally: Many money fights emerge from lack of shared information. Sit down and talk about the budget so you both own the process.
3. Own responsibility for budget gaffes: Make sure you’re the first and most frequent money-spender to say “mea culpa” (my bad). Set the example. Besides, the only person you can change is yourself. Once you do, the balance shifts and change is easier across the board.
4. Work out a detailed budget, together: “The devil is in the details.” Few people fight about the mortgage, their car payment, or the electric bill. It’s the $11.29 at Starbucks last week. The $23.46 for the impromptu lunch. The $18 to get my nails done…
5. Never “finger-point”: If you make your wife defensive, then you’ve already sabotaged the process. The name of the game is solutions, not blame.
6. Eliminate all financial secrets: Here’s the rule: If you don’t want to tell your wife about the expense, then it’s something you don’t need to buy. Same goes for her. That’s why the process must be open and honest. Period.
7. Commit more of your funds to charity: Generosity tends to put things in perspective. “Let’s give more to charity this year,” is an open invitation to cost-cutting elsewhere. Cost-cutting elsewhere tends to address problem areas first.
8. Attend a budget management class together: In most marriages, the sum of a couple’s combined financial know-how is equivalent to less than half of what one person needs to know. Take a class.  A great place to start is Financial Peace University.
9. Initiate an “all purchases over $25 dollars require agreement” rule: Then, as soon as possible, make sure you’re the first one needing the nod from your spouse. See something you want impulsively? Get the go-ahead from your wife… or back away if she sounds cautious. Either way, you’ve demonstrated respect and commitment to the shared budgeting ideal.
10. Don’t fight anymore! No, seriously. Sometimes this can be one of those “duh” things. Why don’t you want to fight? Because it’s counter-productive and then you both feel bad – right? So don’t do it. Make the decision to use other interventions. If it doesn’t work, don’t go there! Duh.

All marriages go through their unique trials and tribulations. At times, you may feel that divorce is the only possible solution. The Men’s Divorce Law Firm believes that maintaining a marriage and solving problems within that marriage takes an enormous amount of patience, hard work and skill. It’s never too late to learn the relationship skills needed to sustain a happy and lasting marriage. A marriage counselor can teach you those skills while monitoring your progress, mediating conflict and giving objective feedback. If you are thinking about a way out of your nuptials, protect yourself from future regret by working through the issues with your spouse and a trained third party. A counselor can not only help you come to terms with whether or not to divorce but can also teach you the skills needed in any future relationships should you decide to leave the marriage.

The Men’s Divorce Law Firm has cultivated lasting and trusting relationships with many local counselors that are both highly educated and vastly experienced in all aspects of couples’ therapy. Contact us today to discuss your unique situation so that we may recommend a counselor most suitable for you and your partner’s specific needs.

While divorce transcends all age brackets, the U.S. Census Bureau recently reported that one-fourth of all divorces that occurred in 2008 were by parties married 20 years or longer.

In an article entitled “’Grey Divorce’ a Growing Trend,” the author stated, “In the past, many couples stayed together because divorce was frowned upon in their generation, even if it meant that one spouse was unhappy. Baby boomers have no such issues with the concept of divorce, and often decide that post-retirement years should not be spent with the wrong person.”

Although the baby boomer generation may not have to deal with issues related to child custody in their divorce, they do need to consider the distribution of assets, debts, pension, and retirement accounts. The fair distribution of funds should be emphasized considering that both parties may be at or approaching retirement age. Projections indicate that approximately 50 percent of the first marriages of the baby boom generation will end in divorce, but this rate is expect to decline to 40 percent for the generations that follow the baby boomers.

An experienced attorney can help secure the proper distribution of property. At the Men’s Divorce Law Firm we understand that division of marital property can be a difficult piece of the case. Throughout the case, this distribution is generally called equitable distribution. Unlike other states, Florida’s Courts require that all marital assets be divided equally. Although most would associate the word property with homes or land, all marital assets can be called into question and divided.

Examples are different types of property to be distributed would be:

• Marital Homes
• Rental Homes
• Retirement Accounts
• Savings Accounts
• Life Insurance Accounts
• Vehicles

Although complex property distributions can be difficult to determine, our attorneys at the Men’s Divorce Law Firm are extremely experienced with such complexities. We strive to insure that you receive a fair distribution and fight to prevent any significant losses.

Contact us today to schedule a consultation to discuss your marital property distributions.

The Tampa Tribune recently published an article entitled, “Facebook plus divorce equals flammable situation,” which warned against the combination of social media and divorce.

The following is an excerpt from the article:

“If eHarmony is the Web site bringing lovebirds to the threshold of marriage, Facebook is the one showing up for the divorce.

The world’s most popular social media site is revolutionizing the divorce experience, pouring toxin into virtually every stage of a collapsing marriage.

Rekindling old flames into blazing affairs. Exposing the ‘Exhibit A’ that divorce lawyers wave in the courtroom. Providing a global stage for feuding spouses to torch each other’s reputations in multi-media splendor.

Take, for instance, the Tampa wife who videotaped fights with her husband (camera in one hand, accusing finger in the other), to post on Facebook later. A child psychologist called it ‘like a reality TV show.’

Or the Tampa husband with a Facebook fixation, who posted minute-by-minute updates about his frustrations with parenting. Lawyers for his wife gleefully turned the online confessions against him in court.

This post vs. post culture will likely grow more common, as generations who grew up living and loving Facebook enter a cycle of marriage and divorce.

Several Tampa lawyers say angry spouses simply can’t resist the urge to stay on Facebook, despite the risks.

After years of posting updates and photos, and making connections with friends online, people’s Facebook profile page becomes part of their identity.

When a spouse attacks another’s Facebook page, or a new boyfriend/girlfriend touts their new romance, it’s hard to resist returning fire. Especially as relatives, close friends or co-workers are still linked to these pages as ‘friends.’

Some judges in Tampa try to throw a wet blanket on all the Facebook warfare.

In Florida, judges decide cases, so there are no juries to sway with scandalous photos. Florida law is heavily focused on moving forward, not incriminating backward, and encourages shared custody.

Still, Judge Steven Scott Stephens, who presides over many cases in Hillsborough County, said fighting spouses dig up everything they can on Facebook that they think looks incriminating.”

To read the full article, click here.

If you are worried about the impact that Facebook will have on your divorce, contact the Men’s Divorce Law Firm today to learn more about how to protect your reputation in court.

The article outlined the following five main transgressions:

• “Showing Off: Pictures or discussions of new purchases or vacations are fun, but they might color the court’s view of your finances and affect your settlement.
• Letting It All Hang Out: If you’re in a custody battle, your ex’s lawyers would love to present you as the nonnurturing type. Delete all the crazy party photos.
• Getting Tagged:  It’s not just your page you have to worry about. Make sure your friends’ photos of you can’t be used against you either.
• Venting:  Don’t talk smack about the lawyers, the judge and especially your spouse — on your page or any other page. (You think your kids never use a computer?)
• Cutting Off Everyone at Once:  Don’t ‘defriend’ in-laws or your ex’s friends right away. People need time to adjust. Unless it’s really high-conflict. Then go for it.”

From these aforementioned “no-nos,” it can be deduced that those involved in a divorce should think twice before posting wall posts, photos, and status updates.

• The cost of being ostentatious: No matter how fun your weekend getaway was to New York,  be wary of what you post on Facebook. Such comments can affect the court’s view of your finances and affect your settlement.
• The no-no photos: Just as Casey Anthony’s party photos were used to label her as a non-nurturing type, photos showing you at bars or under the influence can be used against you in a custody battle. So whether photos are uploaded by you or your friends, be mindful of what they depict.
• Depersonalize the status updates: As frustrated as you may be with your ex, don’t use Facebook as your diary. Material published on the Internet is widely accessible and may be used against you in future hearings.

So what should you remember regarding the combination of social media and divorce? The result is like oil and water: they simply don’t mix.

Contact the Men’s Divorce Law Firm today should you have any other questions on the do’s and don’ts of family law Facebook etiquette.

With the cost of $16 a month for every $1,250 of coverage, this casualty insurance gives the married policyholder a payout once they are divorced, hopefully lessoning the pains of divorce by providing a hopeful start for the future.  According to WedLock Divorce Insurance , the average loss of net worth after a divorce is 77% with 44% of American families falling below the poverty line for some time after divorce.

Entrepreneur John Logan , who first came up with the divorce insurance idea when his wealth shrank after the demise of his marriage, predicts that WedLock will become part of prenuptial agreements or will be purchased for a bride or groom by concerned relatives.

So if you are searching for the perfect wedding gift but are apprehensive about your loved one’s future marriage, purchase WedLock’s divorce insurance today. Insurance plans can be purchased without the bride or groom’s knowledge. This could be the perfect post-divorce present!

Frequently Asked Questions:

What is Divorce Insurance?

WedLock Divorce Insurance^SM is an annually renewable, premium guaranteed form of casualty insurance that provides a lump sum of cash (based on initial claim value units of $1,250 USD per unit purchased, up to $250,000) that is paid if your marriage ends in divorce. In addition, each unit increases in value by $250 annually after the policy’s Waiting Period ends so that the longer you have your policy, the higher your claim benefit will be – without any increase in annual premium.

How much Divorce Insurance do I really need?

That depends a lot on where you live. In the US, for example, the average cost of just legal fees related to divorce is over $16,000, but costs in New York City are much higher than in Wichita, Kansas. In addition, moving expenses, child support or alimony, appraisals on property and many more small (and not so small) expenses can add up to several thousands of dollars more. To do some “What if…?” calculations click here to try some free “Divorce calculators”. .

Who can Purchase Coverage?

In most cases, when you are purchasing insurance for yourself, you are all of the above. Specifically related to Divorce Insurance, the beneficiary (the person who receives the money when a claim is paid) is always the “insured.” However, the “policy owner” (the person who pays for the policy) does not have to be insured. In some cases, spouses buy policies for each other. In other cases, mothers and fathers may buy policies for their sons and daughters. In the latter case for example, a father (the policy owner) might buy a policy for his daughter (the insured). The father is paying for the policy, but in the event that his daughter has a divorce, she would be the insured. The term “Policy Holder” could refer to either the policy owner or the insured under different circumstances. In general, the policy holder refers to the person who owns (or holds) the policy for themselves or another family member, or the person filing a claim. Policy holders must have an insurable interest in the insured, in other words, the policy holder must be related or have a definable business relationship such as an agent or corporate representative on behalf of the insured’s employer.

Click here to receive a quote or to receive more information on WedLock’s services.

Launched in January 2007, I Do Now I Don’t is an online marketplace for buyers and sellers of used jewelry, specifically from previous relationships and divorces. This one-of-a-kind company, which has been featured on CNN, The Rachael Ray Show, Good Morning America and The Today Show, takes a positive view on divorce—rebuild, rejuvenate, and re-sell jewelry so that people can restart their lives fresh and new!

If you are looking for a legitimate marketplace to sell your used jewelry, visit I Do Now I Don’t.

“It’s been a long, long process and to finally get this part behind us. I feel great, even though we still have more to get done.”

Judge Marya Nega said Dwyane Wade had proven irreconcilable differences with Siohvaughn, even though it may already have been apparent in the court of public opinion. But child custody of the couple’s two sons and the division of marital assets still have to be worked out.

Dwyane Wade still retains physical custody of his children until further proceedings determine a final ruling, according to the judge’s order. Michael Kalcheim, the tenth divorce attorney in Chicago to represent Siohvaughn Wade, said he plans to file an appeal.

He told reporters that it was improper to finalize a divorce without also finalizing child custody and financial matters:

“The judge made a mistake.”

Even though this saga may very well have another chapter, Dwyane Wade is now looking forward to charting his future in the NBA. He will become a free agent as early as this week and may very well command a $100 million contract.

The couple, who first become romantically involved at Richards High School in Oak Lawn, had been separated for nearly three years before the recent dissolution of their marriage.

James Pritkin, Dwyane Wade’s Illinois family law attorney, took the opportunity to rattle off a basketball metaphor:

“Mrs. Wade has committed her final flagrant foul. Her game is over.”

Well, maybe not quite. This could go into overtime.

The Supreme Court agreed that while the government should promote long-term, stable marriages, it should not withhold divorce from couples who have completely separated.  An amendment proposed by Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh, was passed yesterday that allowed “irretrievable breakdown of marriage” to be added as a legal justification for divorce. 

The Men’s Divorce Law Firm appreciates that people in other countries are given more freedom to pursue the lifestyle they want without being condemned for deciding to separate from their spouse.  Even though divorce will be granted more easily in India, it is reported that only 11 out of 1,000 marriages in India end in divorce.  This is compared to 400 out of every 1,000 marriages in the U.S.

To read the original article, click here.

www.MensDivorceLaw.com