Are there really just ten? Likely not, your son needs EVERYTHING from you. However, the following ten add up to a solid start, and they are gateway concepts to so much more.

But, there’s a balance at play here. You see, ultimately, your job is to make sure that there’s nothing your son needs from you (other than love). Too many parents create a toxic culture of dependency where, we kid you not, mom or dad even contact prospective employers to cover for their child’s poor interview, sorry work ethic or sub-par resume to pressure the hire.

Our job is to raise young people in love and security, but also make sure they are well equipped to leave home and make it on their own.

1. Be There:

   Your son needs your presence. Your son needs quantity playtime with his dad, not just quality playtime. He needs you at school conferences, soccer games, church events, and mealtimes. Mealtimes are especially crucial to child development, and your son needs his dad. He needs you to wish him good night and he needs to watch you live. He needs to watch you treat his mother right, to watch you make decisions, to watch you value the right things…

2. Respect:

   It’s a cliché that what all men want, ultimately, is respect. Ditto your son.

3. Responsibility:

   One way to earn respect is to demonstrate responsibility. He can’t do this without your help, your expectations, and your coaching.

4. Trust:

   Along with responsibility comes trust. This is a form of believing in your son. Don’t badger, expect. Trust suggests respect. Respect leads to trust. Trust accepted equals responsible behavior.

5. Boundaries:

   Your son needs boundaries he can understand. Fact is, there is more freedom with secure boundaries than without. Obviously, these vary with age and maturity.

6. Accountability:

   We’re not talking about stalking your son, checking up on him every instant, or calling him to task for every detail. However, real world preparation must involve holding to account, following through, and the understanding that every choice he makes is potentially open for review.

7. Love:

   Your son doesn’t need to simply know that you love him, he needs to feel it, see it in action, and understand that it’s as deep and wide as the ocean. Love is the greatest source of strength either of you have. Embrace love; own it, practice it and tell him how you feel.

8. Affection and touch:

   Too many men are confused about affection. They confuse distance with manliness and nothing could be further from the truth. So hug, express your feelings.  And, above all, don’t be afraid to say, “I love you” to your son. Don’t close him out from affection because of your own fear. Your son very much needs physical contact with his dad. A hand on the shoulder, hugs and embraces, holding his hand when he’s younger. Physical touch is key to human development, from infancy on up. Your son needs your physical touch.

9. Advice vis-à-vis “the ‘S’ word”:

   Your son needs your advice. He needs you to teach him about love and respect. He needs his dad to tell, and to show, him how to treat other people. What is appropriate when it comes to girls? What is right and wrong? Your son needs you to talk to him about sex.

10. Example:

    Your son needs your example. If you’ve been a poor example, then he needs to hear you admit that and then he needs to see you find your way. He needs to have a dad around who he can look up to, model, admire and emulate. Your son needs his dad to be his hero.

Posted By All Pro Dad

Orlando Lawyer Jeffrey Feulner and the Men’s Divorce Law Firm believe both parents play an important and equal role in the upbringing of a child.  That is why we stand for fathers, families, and fairness.

All of us make mistakes.  And it has been said that a wise man learns from his mistakes.  A wiser man learns from the mistakes of others.  Here are 10 common mistakes men make in life.  Learn about them and avoid them.  And, if you would be willing, share some of the mistakes you have made so other  Dads like you can avoid them. Click here to view the full article by All Pro Dad.

1. The belief that denial is an effective relationship tool: This comes in close to #1 on any list. If men pretend for long enough that a problem or a conflict does not exist, then we expect that the problem will automatically go away without further attention.
2. Thinking of ourselves first, and others as an after-thought: It’s not so much that men are selfish – more that we simply don’t think. Guys tend to go with the first impulse that comes into their heads. Typically that’s a self-serving impulse, but that’s not why we do it; we do it because it’s the first thing that came into our heads.
3. The tendency to believe that once we explain ourselves, women will automatically change their point of view. We honestly believe that our rationale is that compelling.  Fact is, we might as well get a shovel, dig a deep hole in the ground, and jump right on in – because that’s typically the effect of a man trying too hard to justify his insensitivity.
4. Not really listening: Why listen when we know we’re right? Why listen when we already know what our wife/girlfriend/child is going to say? Well – maybe we don’t know; maybe we have something to learn; maybe listening will show some respect; maybe listening more carefully will save the relationship.
5. Not really paying attention: This is listening with our eyes and the rest of our senses. It would help to notice our wife’s new haircut, or learn to read the subtext in the conversation, or to turn off the game when the relationship needs attention.
6. “I (chest thump, strut) don’t need any help”: The American spirit of individualism buoys this myth. We often believe that seeking help is incompatible with being a real man. This is a huge mistake.
7. Wanting to “fix” problems rather than understand them: Another huge mistake and it frequently involves riding roughshod over basic communication – so we can hurry on with the “fix” and leave well-enough alone. To paraphrase a well-known board game: “Do not talk, do not listen, go directly to the solution.”
8. “I can put this together without reading the directions”: This is an extension of “I don’t need any help.” What is it about the male psyche that gets stuck in the “I can do it myself” stage of child development? We were designed to live and work in cooperative community. “Plays well with others” may not be on our report card anymore, but learning how to draw strength from community remains a critical benchmark if we want to engage our full potential as men.
9. The irrational belief that hiding feelings and building a wall around emotions will make for a stronger, more attractive man: It actually turns out that the opposite is true. Men who are comfortable with emotions, and in touch with their feelings, and who are willing to open up, enjoy better relationships and more satisfying marriages.
10. Attempting to (chest thump, strut) impress other people by trying to do stuff that sends us to the hospital. Again, the opposite turns out to be true. Women are attracted to men who are alive, who demonstrate sound judgment, and act in ways that suggest a secure future.

Attorney Jeffrey Feulner and the Men’s Divorce Law Firm know that no one is perfect and we commend all Husbands and Fathers that learn from their past mistakes.  A wise man learns from his mistakes. A wiser man learns from the mistakes of others. Nobody lives long enough to make them all himself.

Fathers, Families, Fairness.

1. Do you help your kids with their schoolwork?
2. Do you take an interest in their hobbies?
3. Do you show affection to your wife in front of them?
4. Do you advocate that they speak to you and each other respectfully?
5. Do you just enjoy being with your children and them with you?
6. Does your son or daughter come running to you when they get hurt?
7. Is your calendar full of things to do with your children?
8. Do you calmly and gently discipline your children without yelling or screaming?
9. Do you tuck your children into bed at night and tell them “I love you?”
10. Do you know their friends by first name?

So, how did you do?  For more information and help, click on the links provided above for various tips on perfecting your parenting skills!

Attorney Jeffrey Feulner is a proud father of two beautiful children.  Even though his schedule is quite demanding helping other fathers, he always makes time to be a dad.  The Men’s Divorce Law Firm applauds other fathers that go above and beyond for their children.

National Fatherhood Inititative’s mission is to improve the well-being of children by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers.  They strive to ensure a brighter future for America’s youth.  By equipping and educating fathers, they’re working on an issue that is at the core of our nation’s well-being. 

Check out the resources from NFI’s “Tech Savvy Daddy” campaign here, which will be updated with more information/tips every week this month.

Last week, their focus was on “Mobile Connections,” or using text messaging to connect with teens. A recent Pew Research Study found that 75% of teens have a cell phone. Most of them have text messaging capability, and boy do they use it! 54% of teens texted their friends daily in 2010 (skyrocketing from only 38% who texted daily in 2008!). One out of three send more than 100 text messages daily!

For those of you who are fathers of teenagers, you probably feel like their thumbs are glued to their phone. But, as NFI’s Dad Email last week pointed out, if texting is teenagers’ primary means of communicating, why not speak their language? We put together a list of text messages that dads can send their teens to encourage them and build their relationship.

Try sending one or two of the following text messages to your teen this week:

• Hey, just wanted to let you know I love you
• What are you up to this weekend?  I’d love to hang out with you – maybe we can shoot some hoops at the school on Saturday.
• Let’s grab some ice cream after dinner tonight – you game for that?
• I’m so proud that you’re my son/daughter.
• Good luck on your test today.  You’re doing a great job in school this year – I’m really proud of you.
• How’s your day going?  I love you!
• Hang in there, I know it’s been a busy week.  You’re doing great!
• You looked really nice this morning.  I’m a really lucky dad to have a beautiful daughter like you.
• Great job at your soccer game yesterday.  I had fun watching you on the field!

The point we got out of this is, dads: it’s simple. Your kids don’t need something incredibly profound from you. They just want to know that you’re thinking about them, that you love them, and that you want to spend time with them. (As busy as your teenagers are, they actually do want to spend time with you, too.)

One text I got back from a teen whose dad is not very involved hit on a much deeper issue. What would be meaningful for this teenager would be “for him to realize what he has put me through and to want to change that.” Clearly, there are years of hurt that need to be undone in this relationship and a couple text messages aren’t going to do much, but I think a little effort on the part of this dad to move closer to his child would do a lot.

Jeffrey Feulner and the Men’s Divorce Law Firm wholeheartedly believe in devoting your time to your children and making a daily effort to show them how much you love, support and appreciate them.  As NFI would say, “A little investment in your teen’s life will go a long way. Even if it’s as simple as a text message to say ‘I love you.’”

Although all babies need love and attention, they also require several other supplies. Fortunately, About.com published an article entitled, “Top Ten Baby Items Every Father Needs,” which outlines the ten essential baby items for the modern dad.

The following is an excerpt from the article:

1. Car Seat. This is the most essential item for your baby. Anytime you are in the car, the baby needs to be securely fastened in a car seat. The seat must be appropriately sized for your baby and must work in your car. Not all car seats are created equal. You may want to consider a seat that has a base that is left in the car with a detachable seat for the baby that you can easily carry around. But no baby can safely be without a car seat if you plan to move about in a car.

2. Baby Monitor. Unless you or your baby’s mom plan to be in the same room with the baby 24/7, a baby monitor is an important piece of baby gear. These also come in different varieties. Some simply pick up the sound in the baby’s room and let you listen nearby. Others have cameras or motion detectors as well for improved monitoring.

3. Mobile. When the baby is in her crib or bassinet asleep, she will wake up and want her family. A mobile, which attaches to the baby’s bed above her head, will give her something to look at during her pre-sleep or post-sleep period. And every baby needs something to look at during her earliest weeks and months to help her learn to track moving objects.

4. Digital Camera. Just about every father I know wants a good digital camera to record those important moments in a baby’s development, or just wants to have and/or post pictures of the cutest baby ever. Choosing a good digital camera with either lots of storage space or room for a high capacity memory card is an important thing to do even before the baby arrives.

5. Diaper Bag. A good quality diaper bag with all the important contents for a baby is an absolutely essential part of the baby’s stuff. It will be your mobile command center any time you are away from home.

6. Video Camera. In addition to a digital camera, you will also want to record your baby’s movements, sounds and her interaction with others. A video camera that is compact and convenient is a good investment, not just for the baby years but beyond as well.

7. Burp Cloths. Babies spit up constantly and always at the most inopportune time. A ready supply of burp cloths is important for dads and babies. Cloth diapers can serve this function well, and most baby supply stores have them for purchase. Don’t get dressed without one.

8. Infant Health Book or Software. One of the greatest unknowns for new fathers is how to keep the baby healthy and knowing when to involve medical professionals. A good book on infant health or software or trusted websites with this information is critical to being a responsible father.

9. Stroller. It is easy for a new dad to feel trapped at home with the new baby. Particularly with your first one, your mobility is seriously impacted. A good quality stroller, with handles long enough that you can walk without bending over all the time, is an important item. And getting one that will serve you and your baby as she grows makes the relatively large investment a little more palatable.

10. Baby Swing. There will be a lot of times when, as much as you love her, the baby and you will want a little space. A good battery operated baby swing will give you that space without making baby fussy. Again, there are lots of makes and models of swings. Some play music, others have mobiles, and some make the sounds of the womb. But whatever model you get, make sure it is stable and solidly built and assembled.

These essential items will help ease the transition into fatherhood and will help you and baby be safe, comfortable and secure.

The Men’s Divorce Law Firm is an advocate for responsible fatherhood and is proud to serve the fathers of the Central Florida community.

Fortunately, All Pro Dad recently published an article outlining ways to help men stop fighting with their wives about money. The following is an excerpt from the article:

Finances are consistently fingered as the # 1 cause of friction in married relationships. We all know that, right? But here’s the kicker. Problems aren’t caused by lack of money so much as lack of respectful communication about money.

It’s a fact that couples with fat savings accounts still fight about money. At the same time, many people on the poverty line manage to struggle through without the stress ruining their marriage. The key factors are communication and respect.

You have the opportunity to be a leader in your home in terms of love. Love means communication, and love means respect. And love is the only appropriate context to initiate a conversation about finances.

It’s not easy to avoid fighting about money. But learning how to communicate with love and respect may well save your home, your future and your relationship. Try these 10 ideas to get started.

1. Get on the same page: Develop a family “vision”, “plan”, or “mission statement.” If you know where you’re going, then you’re more likely to agree.
2. Make decisions together, not unilaterally: Many money fights emerge from lack of shared information. Sit down and talk about the budget so you both own the process.
3. Own responsibility for budget gaffes: Make sure you’re the first and most frequent money-spender to say “mea culpa” (my bad). Set the example. Besides, the only person you can change is yourself. Once you do, the balance shifts and change is easier across the board.
4. Work out a detailed budget, together: “The devil is in the details.” Few people fight about the mortgage, their car payment, or the electric bill. It’s the $11.29 at Starbucks last week. The $23.46 for the impromptu lunch. The $18 to get my nails done…
5. Never “finger-point”: If you make your wife defensive, then you’ve already sabotaged the process. The name of the game is solutions, not blame.
6. Eliminate all financial secrets: Here’s the rule: If you don’t want to tell your wife about the expense, then it’s something you don’t need to buy. Same goes for her. That’s why the process must be open and honest. Period.
7. Commit more of your funds to charity: Generosity tends to put things in perspective. “Let’s give more to charity this year,” is an open invitation to cost-cutting elsewhere. Cost-cutting elsewhere tends to address problem areas first.
8. Attend a budget management class together: In most marriages, the sum of a couple’s combined financial know-how is equivalent to less than half of what one person needs to know. Take a class.  A great place to start is Financial Peace University.
9. Initiate an “all purchases over $25 dollars require agreement” rule: Then, as soon as possible, make sure you’re the first one needing the nod from your spouse. See something you want impulsively? Get the go-ahead from your wife… or back away if she sounds cautious. Either way, you’ve demonstrated respect and commitment to the shared budgeting ideal.
10. Don’t fight anymore! No, seriously. Sometimes this can be one of those “duh” things. Why don’t you want to fight? Because it’s counter-productive and then you both feel bad – right? So don’t do it. Make the decision to use other interventions. If it doesn’t work, don’t go there! Duh.

All marriages go through their unique trials and tribulations. At times, you may feel that divorce is the only possible solution. The Men’s Divorce Law Firm believes that maintaining a marriage and solving problems within that marriage takes an enormous amount of patience, hard work and skill. It’s never too late to learn the relationship skills needed to sustain a happy and lasting marriage. A marriage counselor can teach you those skills while monitoring your progress, mediating conflict and giving objective feedback. If you are thinking about a way out of your nuptials, protect yourself from future regret by working through the issues with your spouse and a trained third party. A counselor can not only help you come to terms with whether or not to divorce but can also teach you the skills needed in any future relationships should you decide to leave the marriage.

The Men’s Divorce Law Firm has cultivated lasting and trusting relationships with many local counselors that are both highly educated and vastly experienced in all aspects of couples’ therapy. Contact us today to discuss your unique situation so that we may recommend a counselor most suitable for you and your partner’s specific needs.

The real challenge lies in not what you can recreate with all those leftovers, but how you can recreate it while maintaining a healthy diet.  Your personal trainer most likely allots a 24-hour break from your normal diet but here are some recipe ideas and 10 low fat ways to use your leftovers and still remain conscientious about your waistline. 

For breakfast, shoot for 300 to 350 calories.
For me, this means having a piece of leftover pumpkin pie and a cup of coffee with plenty of nonfat milk. (Why? Pumpkin pie is one of my favorite treats and if I don’t have it for breakfast, I’m going to eat it later, adding an extra 300 calories to my day.) Plus, pumpkin pie isn’t the worst thing in the world to eat: it has a little bit of fiber and more than 100% of your recommended daily value for vitamin A. But if you think having another piece of pie will launch you into full-blown holiday-eating mode, opt for something more ordinary, like an English muffin with some peanut butter and an orange or a bowl of oatmeal with raisins. The key is to start your day feeling satisfied.

At lunchtime, shoot for 325 to 400 calories.
Make yourself a big green salad and top it with leftover turkey and maybe even some green beans and whatever is remaining of the veggie platter. Toss with a few tablespoons of a lower-calorie dressing and have a small whole-grain roll.

For dinner, stick with 500 calories.
Enjoy that leftover turkey in Crispy Turkey Tostadas (397 calories; 15 g fat)—which leaves room for a half cup of black beans or a glass of wine on the side.

 10 low fat ways to use your leftovers

1. Soups Add 2 cups of chopped leftover turkey, a selection of chopped vegetables and 1 cup of uncooked rice or noodles to 3 cans fat-free, low sodium chicken broth.
2. Salads Add leftover turkey to a mix of arugula and spinach, sliced mushrooms, cranberries, shredded carrots, sliced red onions and a sprinkling of heart-healthy walnuts. Toss with your favorite low fat or fat free fruity dressing or vinaigrette.
3. Sandwiches and Wraps Use slices of leftover turkey to make all kinds of sandwiches. Be sure to use whole grain breads and rolls, and low fat or fat free fillings. If you don’t like the taste of fat-free mayo, use mustard instead, or flavor your mayo with a little curry powder or another herb or spice. Make a turkey-salad filling with crunchy celery, cranberries and apple. Use plain low fat yogurt for the dressing. Stuff into a whole wheat pita or spoon into the center of a whole wheat tortilla wrap and roll up.
4. Pizza Toppings Top a prepared whole wheat crust with 1/2 cup of tomato or barbecue sauce, 1 cup of chopped turkey and 1/2 cup reduced fat cheese. Bake for 10 minutes at 450 degrees.
5. Quesadillas Combine shredded turkey with a little cumin. Spoon on one half of a low fat corn tortilla; sprinkle with reduced fat cheese; fold tortilla in half and cook in a nonstick skillet (coated with cooking spray) for 5 minutes, turning once.
6. Burritos, Enchiladas, Fajitas, and Tacos Add shredded turkey to salsa, black beans, low fat sour cream and reduced fat cheese; or combine with sautéed onions and sweet peppers; with shredded lettuce and chopped tomatoes; or mix with mild green chiles, seasonings, scallions and a can of enchilada sauce. Use low fat flour or corn wraps with these fillings.
7. Pot pies Add leftover turkey, sliced mushrooms and leftover green beans and carrots to low fat, reduced sodium condensed chicken or mushroom soup. Top with a low fat biscuit topping (there’s now a low fat version of Bisquick) or phyllo pastry sheets.
8. Casseroles Combine 2 cups chopped leftover turkey with 2 cups cooked whole grain rice, a can fat-free, low sodium broth or chopped tomatoes, and a selection of chopped vegetables in a 2-quart casserole. Cover and bake at 325 degrees for 30-40 minutes, until vegetables are tender.
9. Skillet Meals Add 1 1/2 cups of chopped leftover turkey to sautéed onion, mushrooms, broccoli and rice cooked in fat-free broth. Sprinkle some parmesan before serving.
10.  Pasta dishes Add leftover turkey to your any number of pasta dishes. Use shredded turkey instead of ground beef in your favorite lasagna recipe. Be sure to use reduced fat cheeses.

Finally, don’t forget the carcass: put it in a big pot of water along with some onion, carrots, celery, peppercorns and herbs; bring it to a boil, then simmer. After a couple of hours, you’ll have a rich stock, which you can de-fat and use for low fat soups, stews and gravies throughout the holiday season.

The changes apply to all alimony awards entered on or after July 1, 2010.  The new law cannot be used as the basis for a modification of an alimony award determined before July 1 of this year.  The changes bring some clarity to what has long been a vague area of family law.  The law affords Judges additional guidance in making alimony award determinations and actually provide some bright line rules.  The first step is still a factual determination as to the financial status of the couple involved, focusing on the party’s need for alimony and the other’s party’s ability to pay alimony.

Prior to the recent changes, a court had the authority to consider a number of factors as it determined whether alimony should be granted, and if so, in what amount. Those factors included:

a)    The standard of living enjoyed by the couple;

b)    The duration of the marriage;

c)    Age and physical and mental condition of the parties;

d)    The financial resources of each party;

e)    Earning capacity, as well as education, skills and employability of the parties;

f)     Contributions by the parties to the marriage;

g)    Any other factors the court determines are relevant to an equitable alimony arrangement.

Under the new statute, there are now three additional factors for a judge to consider when making an alimony award in Florida:

a)    The responsibilities each party will have with regard to any minor children they have in common.

b)    The tax treatment and consequences to both parties of any alimony award, including the designation of all or a portion of the payment as a nontaxable, nondeductible payment.

c)    All sources of income available to either party, including income available to either party through investments of any asset held by that party.

Under the new alimony statute, marriages are divided into three categories of duration and more concrete time frames are provided for categorizing a marriage’s duration. The new law lengthens the amount of time the marriage must last before permanent alimony becomes a strong claim.

a)    Short-term: less than seven years of marriage;

b)    Moderate: between seven and 17 years;

c)    Long-term: more than 17 years of marriage.

The newly revised Florida Statute §61.08 divides alimony into the following categories. 

a)    Bridge-the-gap alimony

Bridge-the-gap alimony provides support to allow a party to transition from marriage to single life, helping with short-term financial needs. This form of alimony cannot exceed two years. Bridge the Gap Alimony cannot be modified after it is awarded. In other words the court cannot increase the amount, nor can they lengthen the period to be paid.

b)    Rehabilitative alimony

Rehabilitative alimony is to help a party become self-supporting by redeveloping previous skills or acquiring new skills through education or training. For example, this type of alimony is intended to allow an individual to return to school for a new career, improve job skills, or take a refresher course. The underlying purpose is to increase or establish the income of a non-working spouse or a spouse that does not earn enough to be self-sufficient.

The new law creates the requirement of rehabilitative alimony that there be a written rehabilitation plan. For example, a plan can consist of a budget for a college degree along with necessary living expenses.

c)    Durational alimony

The new alimony statute created Durational Alimony. This is a short-term alimony award that would be appropriate if none of the other categories are suitable. The new statute suggests that Moderate Term marriages of between 7 and 17 years would be appropriate for Durational Alimony. This form of alimony is paid for a court-determined length of time not to exceed the length of the marriage itself. A durational award may be later modified in amount but not in length.

d)    Permanent

Permanent alimony may be awarded to provide for the needs and necessities of life as they were established during the marriage for the party who lacks the financial ability to meet his or her own needs following a divorce.

Permanent alimony will  most likely be awarded only if following a marriage of long duration.  Permanent alimony may be awarded following a marriage of moderate duration if such an award is appropriate under the aforementioned factors. A permanent alimony award is only appropriate after a marriage of short duration if there are exceptional circumstances.

Contact the Men’s Divorce Law Firm today should you wish to discuss your unique case that may involve an award of alimony.

Fathers, Families, Fairness.

All attendees, including the Men’s Divorce Law Firm’s managing attorney, Jeffrey Feulner, were greeted with excellent music, fantastic food and a touching sense of comradery in gathering for such a worthy cause.

Heather Higbee has already been serving the voters of Orange County as a member of the Judiciary for over two years. Currently she is in a County Civil Division handling small claims actions, personal injury suits, creditor actions and other civil litigation matters. She also ran a special division located at the Orange County Jail sitting in a Circuit Judge capacity for 2009.

Before becoming a Judge, Heather Higbee owned and operated her own law firm, Heather L. Higbee, P.A. for over ten years. There she represented both people charged with criminal offenses as well as families going through legal transitions such as divorces and paternity actions.

Judge Higbee has spent nearly all of her nineteen-year legal career in Florida’s courtrooms. She obtained her undergraduate degree from Duke University in 1987 and then her law degree from the University of Florida in Gainesville. Immediately following law school, Judge Higbee worked as an Assistant State Attorney, remaining in Gainesville for several years before coming back home to Orange County to serve as an Assistant Statewide Prosecutor for the Attorney General’s Office. In her six years as a prosecutor, Judge Higbee prosecuted almost every kind of case before sworn juries, from traffic charges and DUI cases all the way to complex racketeering and organized crime actions.

Click here to learn more about Judge Heather Higbee’s experience and contributions to the community.

On August 24, 2010, the Men’s Divorce Law Firm urges you to cast your vote to keep Judge Heather Higbee on the bench so that she may continue serving our best interests.

Question: I have been divorced for 25 years, and my former wife remarried 22 years ago.

In the meantime I have had a long-term relationship with a woman I am considering marrying.

I have heard that as a former spouse my ex-wife could have a claim on my Social Security benefits when I die. If I remarry, who will have rights to those benefits?

-R.M., Orlando

Answer: Whether your former wife would be entitled to Social Security benefits based on your earnings will hinge on a number of factors, including whether your marriage with her lasted more than 10 years. If it did not, she would not be entitled to collect Social Security based on your earnings record.

If the marriage exceeded 10 years, she may qualify for Social Security benefits equal to one-half of your full retirement amount, or slightly less, if — at the time you start receiving your benefits — she is unmarried, 62 years or older and is not eligible for an equal or higher benefit on her own, or someone else’s, earning record.

But even if she did qualify, your new spouse’s benefits would not be affected. They will depend on her age, work history and whether or not you have dependent children. For more information visit the Social Security Administration’s Web site, SSA.gov, which features a retirement benefit estimator.

Question answered by Attorney Jeffrey Feulner

To read Attorney Feulner’s answer, follow the link here to the Orlando Sentinel.

If you would like to learn more about how the Men’s Divorce Law Firm can help you, please feel free to contact us at 407-644-1896, or e-mail us at info@mensdivorcelaw.com.

www.MensDivorceLaw.com